And pieces of my heart are scattered here, there, and everywhere, shattered glass on a stone cold ceramic floor.

Spirit is gone and he must be my last dog.

At age 83 and with the quality of my health beginning to show signs of deteriorating, it would be irresponsible for me to entertain the idea of getting another dog.

It was time to let him go – not second guessing myself about that – the cancerous tumor on his jaw was growing rapidly – it had reached the point where he was having a hard time even drinking water and I am guessing the cancer had spread to other parts of his body because he was hardly pooping anymore and it was almost liquid when he did. And to keep him in the game, I was giving him pain medication 3-4 times/day. I don’t think he was in pain but dogs (animals) are so stoic ……. I hope I did not allow him suffer to please me.

On Sunday, August 8, I looked into his eyes and he told me he was ready. I cried and cried and cried. But, I agreed to let him go. Truth is, I had been mourning his passing for many weeks now as I saw the time approaching. I am crying now as I write this.

I have learned to embrace my grieving process. When my wife, Dianna died, I chose to face it head on, to be willing to fully experience all of it, no matter how long it takes or how painful it feels and to go through it all with an open, vulnerable heart. This is what I am doing now, and will continue to do until I have released all the sadness, pain and sorrow I feel now.

Below is the letter of his last day I sent to friends:

Spirit left this reality at 11:36 AM this morning.
He ate a good sized pure chicken breakfast at around 7 AM while I was driving us to Heritage Park, about a 20 minute drive, and a huge expanse near Adrian. It was our favorite place to walk – tons of walking trails. Whenever I had to go to Adrian, it was always our first stop. Today, we went on a brief 20 minute walk. Then he climbed back into the car without encouragement. He was done. From there, we toured the back country gravel roads of Lenawee county for a bit less than 2 hours, seeing deer, sand hill cranes here and there.
The vet came out to our house, took off her shoes and Spirit immediately grabbed one of them. I gently took it away from him, as she went through her process to gently put him down while he lay on our bed with the ceiling fan running full blast. He offered no resistance and was comfortable throughout the entire process. Carol and I petted him and talked to him as he was dying. He barely moved a muscle.
I tried not to but I cried.
Then I transported his body to a local crematorium.
I will spread his ashes in the Onsted Village Park, a walking place we visited almost daily during his life, where he met so many people, so many kids, so many dogs, so many smells, chased so many squirrels, finished off quite a few half eaten sandwiches and other “treats”, as we roamed the park and connected trail. It also had a small creek running through it, which he loved to lay in during low water times and run through when it was running high. I will sprinkle some of his ashes into that creek.
I have never had to put down a dog who still had this much energy, active life force, enthusiasm for life – though very much diminished from his normal way of being by the time of his passing. Painful, unsettling, disturbing in every way. This guy had SO much energy to begin with, it is probably not out of line that he still had some left.
My heart was breaking minute by minute, hour by hour, over the past few weeks but the tumors on his jaw and leg were out of control and expanding so rapidly, he had a hard time even drinking. And without pain pills, he would have been in agony.
So, I ignored my own feelings and let him go.
Still, he LOVED life! I never wanted to train this quality out of him, or, in any way, inhibit his enthusiasm. So glad I did not. I loved this about him.
So it is goodbye dear lovely friend, my blessing for over nine magical years. Not long enough but there is no time that would have been long enough. I am eternally grateful for every moment we were given together. And yet, the hole in my life is too big for me to grasp – he was with me during every moment of the day and now ………………..
You will always be in my heart, sweet Spiritdog.  
We will re-unite on the other side. Will find out just how when my time comes.
A baby rabbit is eating seeds outside my window.
Life goes on.
Love to you all
John

My middle son, Stephan, died on August 31, 2020, one year ago.

Before that, I lost dear friends, Mark Schelereth, and a couple of years before that, Steve Kridelbaugh, and recently, his wife, Linda.

The downside of getting old and still being alive is the loss of friends and family as they peel off, one by one.

But, maybe not so oddly, of all of these lovely souls, I miss Spirit most of all. It is the simple practical reality that he was at the center of my daily life; friends and family lived far away and were not an integral part of my daily life – though I love them all dearly.

Spirit and I were together essentially every minute of every day for 9 years. I can still see him the day we first met, the day he chose me, a seven week old puppy who rolled over on his back between my legs so I could scratch his little belly – and as he would do so often during the years that followed.

I so deeply miss his standing on the car console staring out the window to see what is going on as we cruised down the road, tapping my right hand with his left paw if I stopped scratching him under his neck, occasionally laying his head into the curve of my neck, and resting it there just so we could feel closer, or sticking half his body out the rear window to catch the wind, and those spurious passing scents only he knew were there. Or laying next to me, or under my computer table, as I wrote my book or emailed, or searched the internet. Those spots are empty now and when I look at them, my heart is heavy.

Where is my boy?

Has my Spiritdog stopped talking?

We will see.

So happy to meet you my dear friend


Spirit at around age 2

 

 



Wait, wait for me. I will be with you soon enough

Post # 27 05302020

For the past few months, I have been noticing new tumor growth on Spiritdog’s lower jaw and right rear leg, the exact same locations of the original tumors treated with radiation in May, 2019. Subsequent biopsies of both locations confirmed the recurrence (or continuance) of sarcomas. So, sorry to say, the result of treating him with both radiation and fenbendazole has been quite disappointing.

And it is what it is.

I decided to do palliative radiation at the Michigan State University Small Animal Clinic consisting of five treatments, each one a week apart, beginning with last Thursday. The goal is to provide him with more pain free time at a cost of ~ $3000. Is it worth it? Today he acts like a normal healthy middle aged dog, so, for me, the hope of keeping him that way longer makes it a yes.

After the radiation treatments, I will also look into some form of additional treatment even including chemotherapy if I can find a modality that offers minimal side effects with extended quality of life. Maybe metronomic chemotherapy using either cytoxan or Palladia, perhaps alternating it with fenben, perhaps not, or ….. something else?

How am I dealing with this turn of events? Like any human being, I bounce back and forth. I try to follow Spiritdog’s example, living in the present, saturated with appreciation, gratitude and the joy of being with him. In this present, he is acting like a perfectly healthy dog. And sometimes I manufacture stress by sliding into my fear of him dying, even mourning his death, creating stories about the future that obliterate being present, evaporating joy.

As a quick reminder about how our body responds to our stories, from Premier Health, (www.premierhealth.com. Feb 5, 2017): As your body perceives stress, your adrenal glands make and release the hormone cortisol into your bloodstream. Often called the “stress hormone,” cortisol causes an increase in your heart rate and blood pressure.

Fortunately, I can objectively watch myself generating stress because I take my blood pressure daily with my home monitor (usually twice, in the AM and PM). I plot the data on a graph so I can see both how my BP changes daily and over time.

So, how has my concerns about Spiritdog affected my blood pressure? Bounced it up to a higher average it seems.

I confounded my own data however because during this same time I also stopped taking one pill/day of Mukta Vati, a stress reducing herbal mixture. My “before” BP was averaging ~110/65 and when I stopped taking it (and began stressing about spirit fueled by the latest diagnosis), my BP has drifted up to ~125/80, some days lower, some days higher, with morning readings almost always lower than evening readings.

One’s blood pressure matters.

From the American Heart Association: The Systolic Blood Pressure Intervention Trial, known as SPRINT, studied more than 9,300 people older than age 50 who had high blood pressure and at least one other risk factor for heart disease. By using medicines to reduce systolic blood pressure to below 120, instead of below 140:

  • rates of heart attack, heart failure and stroke went down 30 percent; and
  • rates of death from those conditions dropped nearly 25 percent.

I could start taking MV again but am going to wait a couple more weeks to see if I can practice being more conscious of my stories and let go of those that do not serve my well being.

Everyone should have a home blood pressure monitor.

It is inexpensive, reliable and offers valuable data not only about the health of our body but also insight into the workings of our brain.

Post #26 05032020

To re-cap, I had finally reached a state of mind that results in a reduced stress level as measured by my blood pressure, now routinely 120/80 or less, without relying on cigarettes or any other drug.

How did I do that?

An insight comes to mind from the Est Training (now Landmark Forum) I attended so long ago (1980).  The punch line to that four day training was simple, startling: Life is empty and meaningless! The point being that it is up to each one of us to create meaning…… every day, in every moment.

And, a companion insight offered by Seth, as channeled by Jane Roberts, taken from The Nature of Personal Reality.

You are given the gifts of the gods,
you create your reality
according to your beliefs.
Yours is the creative energy
that makes your world.
There are no limitations to the self
except those you believe in.

Finally, there is the excerpt from my own book (11 Life Practices, practice #3, Life is Recreation):

The reality we experience is always personal and subjective.

About this we have no choice. It is the way our sensory system/brain is designed.

We could call this one of the rules governing this reality.

Rather than resist this feature of our reality, we do well to embrace it and use it to our advantage. Because we are creative beings, every moment is an opportunity to re-create new stories about ourselves, our lives and imagine new futures for ourselves.

In other words, we can’t help being story tellers. The very act of sensing reality and processing that data in our brain creates a story. It is the way we experience “reality.” However because we have created it, we also have the capacity to recreate it, i.e., to create a different story about ourselves, our current life experience.

So, returning to my high blood pressure episode, my story at the time was: the moment I completed my book, my purpose for “getting up in the morning” was gone. Suddenly I was experiencing my life as being empty and meaningless.

But (my story continues) I am a goal driven being. What do I do when I no longer have a goal?

After suffering in this anxiety driven state of mind, “wringing my hands” for several weeks, I suddenly (and accidentally) discovered I had super high blood pressure. This turned out to be a gift, a startling wake up call.  Once I realized I had HBP after a lifetime of normal blood pressure, I dove into the research. How could this happen, I wanted to know.

What I discovered is stress is a leading cause of high blood pressure.

  1. Now I got it. The anxiety and emotional distress of losing my sense of purpose left me feeling life was, indeed, empty and meaningless. This story created stress, which generated my high blood pressure.

What is my way forward? What can I do about it?

Once again, Spiritdog was/is my savior, my teacher.

When I look into his eyes, touch his fur, in the blink of an eye I lurch out of the past/future, into  being now-here, where joy lives. He wakes me up! He does for me what meditation can do, or sometimes the sun breaking over the trees on the eastern horizon, or sunlight shimmering across the surface of the lake, can do. But Spiritdog is highly reliable and always available. He, himself, is always in this space of being in every moment, and he is always at my side.

Being now-here, being, itself, is enough reason for appreciation, gratitude and joy he says without speaking.

The way forward is being now –here, he says without speaking.

When we are being now-here, the need for stories disappears. So do the stories themselves.

So the safe place in any storm is being now – here, returning us to joy.

 

And I love being goal oriented, having a sense of purpose. I don’t need to give this up; I can simply put my doing where it belongs, in the context of being. I can recognize I am whole and complete, with or without goals, that life is whole and complete as it is without me adding any of my stuff to it. And I can also pay attention, notice opportunities that offer me the possibility of making a difference, of contributing to the whole, that excite my passion ….. and show up by pouring my energy into actualizing them (practice #6 in 11 Life Practices).

Earlier in life I did this by practicing engineering, solving technical problems, and toward being an activist, doing what I could to solve this problem or that one, and later it was toward supporting groups of people in becoming high performance teams. In this later phase of my life, my passion has been devoted to writing. I wrote books, Dianna’s Way, then 11 Life Practices and now it is to write this, right now, right here. More fundamentally, writing has been a thread throughout my life, a way for me to explore my own personal reality.

But, none of this replaces being now-here, drenched in appreciation, gratitude, and joy. It is simply the content of my life that is fun to do.

So, as I see it, the way to handle stress on a day to day basis without using drugs, whether cigarettes, weed, or Prozac, is twofold:

  1. Practice being now-here.
  2. Be patient, paying attention to opportunities for contributing to the whole. Then show up!

Summarizing, life is bound to be up and down, exciting and boring, challenging and sleep inducing, projects start and end, careers begin and end. But no matter how things are going in the plan b) category, our back up is always the capacity to avail ourselves of plan a). No matter what we are up to in life, if we always nurture the capacity to be now-here, and practice it (why it is practice #1 in Life Practices), we are going to be OK.

 

 

 

 

 

Post #19 12092019

About two weeks ago, discovered another lump on Spirit’s left rear leg (he had a lump/soft tissue sarcoma on his right rear leg that was treated with surgery and radiation and so far, has not noticeably recurred). A needle biopsy showed this small lump to be non-cancerous, and consisting of inflamed tissue.

My suspicion/gut feeling is this is may be another location where cancer is attempting to get started.

Also, the lump in his jaw bone persists. Not getting bigger but not getting smaller either. This could be  a) residual dead tissue remaining from the radiation treatments he had to this location in May or b) persistent cancer in the bone of the jaw.

The veterinary oncologist recommended a wait and see approach about all of it and I basically agree – with the added provision I believe in hoping for the best but planning for the worst; which is to say, continue to treat him as if he has cancer.

So I have upped the dose of fenbendazole from 145 mg/day to 222 mg/day (the amount a 150 human would take for cancer treatment) and will do another liver health check in early January, 2020 to make sure he is handling the higher dose. If the liver is showing any signs of stress, I will drop back to the lower dose. There is no “correct dose” of course – all the uses reported in both humans and animals are anecdotal. No one knows. Given that the side effects seem to be so minimal (none noticeable in Spirit to date after three months of use), a higher dose seems worth the try.

I have also added Metatrol and Immpower, both products produced by American Biosciences to Spirit’s daily meal. I give him one capsule of each per day with his food.  (By the way, Metatrol and Metatrol Pro have identical ingredients – just a packaging/labeling difference). There is some science and quite a few scientific studies that support the supposition that the former helps fight cancer by strengthening the immune system detect and destroy cancer cells and the latter helps strengthen the immune system in general. Neither product claims to cure cancer.

American Biosciences also makes an Immpower for dogs called NK-9; it is the same product only provided in 250 mg capsules whereas Immunpower is packaged in 500 mg capsules. Since Spirit weighs 90 pounds, he would get 2 capsules of NK-9 anyway, which is the Immpower dosage – and is somewhat less expensive to buy this way.

As to Spirit, he is still doing extremely well in terms of appetite, energy and attitude – acts like a 2 year old when we are out walking.

The name of this game is to buck up, stick to the program and watch for ways to improve our game.

Post #18 11042019

Today marks a full two months Spiritdog has been on the fenben (fenbendazole) chemotherapy treatment. I have been charting the daily dose given (always between 600-650 mg of Panacur C, which contains 22% fenben, so delivers ~ 140-150 mg of fenben). I am also paying close attention to his behavior/response to treatment.

What I record on a monthly chart each day is his energy level, appetite, stool consistency as well as note anything else that is unusual.

So far, so good. His energy level is excellent, his appetite great and stools have been mostly firm. The only hiccup in this regard is I began adding turmeric (mixed in a coconut oil with a bit of black pepper, which is supposed to help with turmeric adsorption in the body) and began with too much – probably a full heaping tablespoon in his dog food and his stools became soft, ill formed. His body could not process the change that rapidly.

So, I stopped giving him turmeric all together to give him a breather. That was about a week ago and his stools are gradually becoming better formed. In another week, if all is well, I will give it another try but with maybe a ¼ teaspoon and slowly build up to perhaps a tablespoon each day. Will see how it goes.

Stepping back from all this, what I am engaged in here is what could be called “bucking up,” meaning staying in the game for the long haul, doing what needs to be done day in day out, doing the work that it takes to meet a challenge and see it through to its ultimate conclusion. Bucking up is one of the practices in my new book, 11 Life Practices/An Old Man’s Stories of Light, Love, Joy, headed for publication sometime around the end of this year.

This effort to support Spirit in healing his cancer is my current opportunity to practice “bucking up.”

Another, not so obvious optional quality of bucking up is cheerfulness. It is one thing to trudge along in a long term effort weighted down by a sense of obligation, or perhaps even resentment if one is feeling forced to do what needs to be done. It is quite another to buck up with a smile in our hearts and a capacity to have fun with it, even having a sense of humor about it all (which alludes to another life Practice I have called Lightening Up).

When we can adopt an attitude (another of the Life Practices I have termed, Choosing our Attitude, choosing one that best suits whatever situation we are facing) that includes cheerfulness, our staying power is magnified enormously. Instead of a feeling that we are trudging through Jell-O, we are, instead, engaged in doing what Love does (another one of the Life Practices). We feel joy in our hearts as we go about the work, which now feels like an opportunity rather than a burden.

This is how I feel about supporting Spirit through his journey with cancer, not unlike the journey I took while supporting Dianna in her 17 year struggle with cancer (what my first book, Dianna’s Way was about).

So, why am I getting to do this journey again?

My sense is to practice doing what Love does by supporting one I love as they go through a rough patch helping them create and experience the best life they can live. Unsurprisingly, this allows me to create and experience the best life I can live too. What could be better, more satisfying then helping those you love live their best life?

Joy.

What I can see now is the practice of bucking up provides us with the opportunity to practice all 11 practices I have identified in my book.

Stepping back even further, choosing to be in this reality (physical form) could be looked at as our ultimate opportunity to buck up!

What better way to live our lives than being immersed in a challenge that captures our attention and energy, one that brings us all that life has to offer? Life’s blessing.

 

Post #17

Post #17 09192019

Fenben (fenbendazole) is readily available without a prescription on Amazon or elsewhere because it is an ingredient in a deworming drug manufactured by Merck for treatment of animals. The product is called Panacur C, containing about 22% fenben. This drug has a long history of use, with no side effects, if human use is any measure. Human beings who have used it have experienced no side effects at the dosages described below.

The dose of fenben I am using is based on the dosage used by people who have successfully cured their own cancer – one gram of Panacur/day (so 220 mg of fenben.) Assuming the human user was a 150 pound man (I don’t really know this) and Spirit weighs 90 pounds, the dose I use is 90/150 X 1000 mg (1 gram) = 600 mg of Panacur C. It is a white powder that I sprinkle into his dog food. I am not exact about this when weighing it out – anywhere between 600-650 mg is OK with me.

I should say I bought a scale on Amazon that weighs in the mg range – the Diagtree Digital Milligram Pocket Scale for $17 and it works just great, simple to use and exactly what I needed and wanted. Very pleased with it so far.

I also created a daily chart where I record the dose given, scores for his appetite (poor to normal), energy level (score from low to high), character of his feces (runny, soft, firm, etc).

I will also have his liver function (called a chem. 12 blood panel) checked by my local vet each month just to be on the safe side. Checking the health of the liver is a measure of whether the body is eliminating the drug adequately. This is not cheap – $150 for a complete blood panel. But I will do this for 2-3 months and if it all looks good, likely reduce testing to once every 3-4 months.

So far, after two weeks of administering fenben, Spirit’s energy level, appetite and stools all look fine.

Is it working?

He appears to be in top notch health right now.

But, if he dies of cancer at any age, we would have to say no, or at least not good enough to be called a cure. If he lives the normal life of a Golden Retriever (10-12 years) and does not die of cancer, I would say yes.

Since about 2/3 of all GR’s die of cancer and he already has cancer, I am inclined to keep him on some dosage level of fenben for the rest of his life. Maybe after the initial 6 month chemo treatment period, I can go to some lower, as yet undetermined, dose (even up to the present dosage) – and maybe not every day – will have to think more about this.

As a sideways thought, if I was ever diagnosed with cancer myself, the way I feel now, I would take fenben rather than go through the whole surgery/conventional chemo/radiation routine. At my age (81) I am not up to that ordeal. I have lived a long and good life.

 

 

Past #16 9/1/2019

A Total Change of Plans.

It has been over a month since my last post. With new information, I hit the brakes on using CBD oil as my “homemade chemo” regimen for Spirit and have decided to try using fenbendazole (fenben for short) instead.

I began this drug treatment on 9/1/2019 and will continue it for six months.

This change is not based on whether or not CBD may be a good option for dealing with cancer in dogs. It may or may not. In any case, I have not tossed out the CBD stock I have in the refrigerator. It could come into play later on.

But the antidotal evidence for fenben seems stronger. Besides some strong antidotal evidence, there is also the fact that there is science for describing the mechanisms involved (blocks waste removal and nutrient intake from and to cancer cells, blocks blood supply to cancer cells, blocks sugar transport to cancer cells, increases the body’s immune system, etc.), providing some logic as to why it may prevent and/or cure cancer both in humans and dogs.

Anyone interested can do an internet search on fenben or go to the FaceBook page MyCancerStoryRocks, started by Joe Tippens. I first found out about it in a newsletter, Alternatives, I regularly subscribe to – which the reader may be able to access at www.drdavidwilliams.com . I am not sure if you have to be a subscriber to read the article, “A cure for cancer in plain sight.”

Does fenben really work?

Well, there are no double blind scientifically designed studies done on hundreds or thousands of mice, or dogs, or humans to prove that it does that I am aware of – and maybe there never will be. Drug companies make money by “managing cancer” not by curing it.

Further, why would a for-profit company spend millions getting FDA approval for any drug that can no longer be patented? One might reasonably ask why our government doesn’t do the research – or why what has been done by the National cancer Institute is ignored – or why the research done at MD Anderson in 2002 (the work of Dr. Tapas Mukhopadhyay) is completely ignored? I guess we need to occasionally remind ourselves that our totally dysfunctional federal bureaucracy is actually an oligarchy masquerading as a government by and for the people, to answer that one.

In any case, while I cannot change the bizarre world we live in, big pharma and its employees (e.g., our own government), I can – and am – moving ahead with my own plan for my own dog.

More on the details of my treatment protocol in my next post.

Post # 14 07/30/2019 New Information about CBD as a Chemo Treatment

I am a paying member of Consumer Labs, www.consumerlabs.com , an on line source of information about supplements –and they just came out with a report on CBD oil and its uses that changed my thinking about when to administer it to Spirit.

Here are the major takeaways for me in this report:

  1. Most of the research into the value of using CBD oil to treat medical conditions such as cancer is done at very high doses (like 20 mg CBD per kilogram of body weight – about 800 mg/day for Spirit!)– far above my 45-50 mg/day dose I am using for Spirit. However, at these levels, one must start to be concerned about side effects, like affecting kidney function, diarrhea, vomiting, etc.
  2. To be most effective, because CBD is fat soluable, adsorption is 5-15 times higher when given with or right after a high fat meal rather than on an empty stomach! The meal should contain 500-600 calories of fat to be helpful.
  3. With a high fat meal accompanying the CBD, the half life of CBD in the body almost doubles from 24 hours to 39 hours.
  4. CBD at the levels I am giving does not materially aid in sleeping better.
  5. Preliminary science and antidotal evidence suggests CBD does have anti cancer properties and enhances the body’s immune system response to cancer.
  6. There is also early evidence it can help with seizures, pain, anxiety, inflammation and likely other ailments too. Not my focus here, so I will not go into all the data about these conditions.
  7. Half life of CBD in the body, after hitting maximum levels in 2-5 hours, is 18-32 hours and, with continued dosing, much longer than that. So daily dosing, as I am doing with Spirit, would maintain a high level of CBD essentially all the time.
  8. CBD can interact with other medications in a negative way. Too complicated to go into here but one needs to do one’s homework and consult with others before proceeding. In Spirit’s case, he is not on any other meds so clear sailing here.
  9. As to who to buy CBD from, CL offers some information that will be helpful to some I am sure. I am already satisfied I have an excellent source with Nuleaf Naturals and will stick with them.

Based on this information, I am encouraged that the dosing level and schedule is a) not going to do any harm and b) may actually do what I am hoping – that this dose may have a positive impact on cancer metastases in Spirit – no, it not nearly as high as some studies have used but it is significantly higher than the usual – and will be doing it regularly and for a long period of time so…….who knows.

I have also immediately shifted to giving him his CBD dose right after his evening meal rather than at bedtime.

I also have added two heaping tablespoons of coconut oil to his food (worth about ~400 calories of fat). Coupled with the fat content of his regular dog food (Wellness Core dry dog food + Wellness Core canned dog food to hide his daily garlic pills for fleas and ticks + cooked hamburger + boiled egg) am confident I am up in the 500-600 calorie of fat range.

Nothing left to do now but buck up, continue with the program each and every day (practice #10, bucking up).

 

Post #13 07/26/2019 Protecting Radiated Wound Areas During Healing/Chemo Period

Below are some photos of how I protect his leg while it has no fur to protect it while we are out on our walks; this protection is done in three layers:

  1. First I lay a pad of Telfa on the wound area (available at any pharmacy, it is a non stick, soft pad that is needed while the skin in the wound area is reforming after radiation; once the skin is intact and healthy, could stop doing this step although I like the gentle protective layer it provides).
  2. I then wrap a couple of layers of Gentle Wrap to further protect the wound area, and to hold the Telfa in place. This wrap sticks to itself so is easy to work with (available at CVS).
  3. Finally, I cover the wrap with a couple of two inch wide double sided (sticks to itself ) Velcro strips that act as an “armor plate” to prevent brush and brambles from harming the wound and to keep the wrap in place.

 

The photos below show the bare leg, then with the gentle wrap over the Telfa pad and finally, with the Velcro strips as protection for the wrap. At the end of this post, I show photos of the products being used here.

The materials I am using both to protect the leg wound and the Aloe product I spray on several times a day to promote healing are shown at the end of this post.

 

 

 

 

 

When the wound condition allows, this approach is infinitely better than the array of dog boots out there, which are clumsy, rarely stay on for long, and are not fully water proof anyway. Of course, a boot was needed when the wound on his leg was still open after surgery, and his activity had to be highly restricted anyway. This period was a real headache for us both. So, boots do serve a purpose.

I should say when we walk, he is always off leash because we go to places where there are rarely people or cars, places with woods, fields, rabbits, deer, and other wildlife one would expect in this part of the world. We also go out in all kinds of weather, rain or shine, cold or hot; could be a blizzard or pouring rain but he still needs to poop. So, we go.

When we are out walking, I let him lay in puddles to cool off, walk through streams, and do whatever makes him happy. I am going to remove the wrap as soon as we get home, dry him off and spray his wound areas with Aloe Vera anyway.

These walks are his time.

His time to nose around, pee 50 times, explore the world, poop of course, and simply enjoy being alive. I want him to have a life worth living so I give him as much time as I have or he seems to need. When he is done, he tells me by lying down next to the car – in the shade during the summer, in the sun during winter.

Before cancer, I walked with him and we both got exercise; now, I have to restrict his activity until his hair grows back. I have found the best way to do this is for me to hang around the car or sit in it, maybe listening to music or read a book. Then he simply meanders around on his own at a gentle pace.

Because this is the nature of GR’s, he does not go far from where I am, ranging out not more than, say, 50 yards or so. I can almost always keep him in sight and if he is out of sight too long, I whistle him back.

I have an e-collar on him with three options: send him a brief shock, a longer one if the situation calls for it, or, as is true 99% of the time, simply a high pitched noise only he can hear but is startling to him. Finally, he comes to a just a whistle extremely well too.

I might have to shock him 1-2 times/yr these days (if he decides to chase people, another dog, or a car). If he sees and wants to chase a deer (like any bird dog, he gives up within 50 yards and comes back) or some turkeys, l let him have his fun.

We understand each other.

Post #12 07/17/2019 Done with Radiation, on to Chemotherapy

 

Back to the practical side after my deep dive into the spiritual side of this adventure, caring for Spirit, my dog, who has cancer.

To review, I had the lump on his leg surgically removed to the degree possible. Because the cancer is enmeshed in his ligaments, tendons and nerves, clear margins are not possible (only amputation of the entire leg offers that option). What the surgery did do is cut down on the size of the mass radiation had to kill, making radiation more effective.

What the radiation treatments did hopefully accomplish is completely kill localized cancer cells in his jaw and leg. This buys us time to continue CBD oil as a possible natural chemotherapy to deal with cancer cells throughout his body, or at least keep them at bay.

Maybe.

There is some early science, but not much, to indicate this may be effective.

I am going to assume this is true and have begun with 45-50 mg/day as the dose he needs to do that, again, with no science to back this up – simply what I concluded after perusing suggested dosages based on vague, anecdotal reports.

I will do this for a year.

If he is doing well, with no new evidence of cancer, will decide then whether to continue at this dose level or shift to a lower, maintenance level of maybe half as much …… probably for as long as he lives – two thirds of all Golden Retrievers eventually die of cancer so why stop if it seems to be working?