Summer not far from home

I am in the end phase of my life now where “the getting” – and even the “doing” of life is waning. More money or more stuff or even more love is all good but these concerns are no longer the focus of my days and nights. 

I have enough. Enough money, enough stuff and even enough love (though love is not a thing one “acquires”). When it comes to love, I do have plenty to give.

And, here comes Spirit!  Just in time!

As for love, we cannot “get” love. Perhaps we cannot “give” it either. Most concisely, I think Love is tightly related to “being”.That is, we can only be love ….. Love is an awareness, a space to be in.

This seems obtuse I suppose but, consider. To genuinely love another being (not “in love” with a projection of what we have decided they are), we must actually be present to them – that is, we “get” the way they are, not the way we wish they were.

Even deeper than this, the peak experience of love is to experience being one with another – the romantic version of this is being with one’s soul mate. But, truth is, a soul mate is simply someone who we find it easiest to be present to, to feel one with.

Of course, if we were fully awake, we would be one with everything – each person we meet, even those we don’t, the trees and stars and the blades of grass under our feet and ……

Well, it is easier to do with someone we feel strongly connected to  – the reason, I believe, this reality comes equipped with male female dualism, , sexual drives, children developed, then born right out of mother’s bodies – so amazing – and all of that.

Fun eh?

Also, has taken me a while to notice love is not a feeling either. Some days I feel love – and loved – and some days I don’t.  Some days I may feel love for someone but some days I don’t  – so, I try to make it up or act like I do feel it. What is this about?

Well, here we go again.

I believe It is about being in the Present (not thinking about past or future – or focused on thinking at all). If I am present to other, love simply, naturally shows up. Love fills the space, fills me up (unless they happen to be a sadistic serial killer – then, I would need the advanced course on being Jesus Christ or the Buddha). Sometimes we are present to another but, mostly we aren’t, so, unlike the romantic phase (when it is new), the bloom comes off the rose. Just the way it is until we, ourselves, are some other way – until we have developed our capacity for being present.

Dogs can help with this.

I have lived with dogs all my life. Everyone who has raves about their unconditional love, man’s best friend, all that (me too) and, it turns out, we have good reason to rave. It is no accident dog is god spelled backwards. In an important way, they can be our teachers.

They naturally know something we don’t.

Dogs know all about being present.

They may not know it intellectually and they certainly cannot write about it – or even talk about it – that is, they cannot language it in our language. So we think they don’t know.

But, they know …….. in the way they know such things.

We have trouble with this because we live mostly in our heads, which separates us from the present, where love lives as an experience. I talk about this in my book, Dianna’s Way (not due out till maybe June so no use looking for it yet)

Dogs are almost always being in the present moment (they can slip out of it too though – expressing fear, aggression, or anxiety, when they are reminded of past pain event or  maybe apprehensive about a feared future).

If we understood their language, we would know they know it. I do not know this because I understand their language – I might stumble into bits of it here and there – but, I know it intuitively ……….. which maybe is part of their language.

Hmmmmmmm.

Chili

The link below is an interesting entry into other dimensions of not so much our world but what we think is our world.

I have had some experiences like the ones discussed in the link …..I will mention only one …………. I was walking Chili (my now deceased dog) in a place where a flock of Canada geese hung out regularly. Each time we went there, same thing happened …….. we would walk toward them and by the time we were within maybe 50 yards of them, Chili would break into a full run, scattering them into the sky, barking their complaints in a cacophony of sound.

This day, I just felt differently. Gentler, maybe. My heart said to them (surely these were the very same geese we saw each day), please stay, it is OK, we will not hurt you, you are safe with us ……… that feeling …….. all in thought and nothing spoken out loud, as we walked toward them. When we had walked within about 20 yards of them (more slowly than usual  – walking fast is, by itself, threatening after all) I sat down in the grass and Chili nosed around a little (maybe considering his options) – usually he would have made a bee line for the geese long before this to scatter them to the winds, one of his simple joys in life. Then, without me saying anything to him, he simply, quietly, sat down beside me, watching the geese.

It is as if Chili, I and the geese were in a shared conversation of sorts.

There were about 40 geese in all and they all kept looking at us, milling around nervously and, after about 3-4 minutes, three of them finally could not stand the ambiguity of it all and flew off. A move like this would, more often than not, stir the rest to follow suit. But, they did not. After several more minutes, most went back to pecking away in the grass while a few kept eyeing us. Interestingly, there was a continual string of singular barks scattered between them, here and there, like they were discussing this unusual situation.

After maybe 20 minutes or so, without a word, I stood up, turned and walked away with Chili coming along with me. The geese finally fell completely silent and went back to their business as we got far enough away to break the spell.

I think we could have more peace than we have in this world if we were open to it.

If we believed it was possible.

Anyway, end of this story.

http://galeglassner.com/2012/03/the-butterfly-story/

Gradually, I am discovering what this blog is about ….

I am exploring what brings meaning to life – my life anyway – by writing about it – and, by publishing it, inviting others to travel along on this journey either as an observer or as a participant by commenting.

So, today, I will begin like this:

Passion points me toward meaning.

What I feel passionate about provides meaning to my life, my reasons for staying a bit longer in this reality.  Otherwise, why be here?

There are no “shoulds” where passion lives. Obligations, duties, what others want or expect, the maintenance doing of life, while all important, do not live here either.

Passion is whatever excites me, move me to action, makes me want to get up in the morning. These days, I feel more passionate than ever. Meaning I am more excited by life than ever.

Right now, my passions are:

  • The book I just finished about my deceased wife, Dianna, called Dianna’s Way (currently in editing, to be published in early summer) – I want as many people who may gain value from reading her story to know it exists – so my next job is to publicize it as well as I can.
  • This new dog I am adding to my life. Already named, Spiritdog will be born in early May and we will join up near the end of June.
  • And, this blog, a novel (for me) way to investigate the meaning of life, and my life.

[The name for this blog came first, by the way. The naming of my dog, Spiritdog, came later – at least in my consciousness. 🙂 ] 

In my next post, I will continue along this theme. Enough for today.

Am in the throes of preparing for the new addition to my family of one. Spirit, a Golden Retriever will show up in this world in early May and I will be picking him up sometime in late June.

Some of the things I have been resolving:

 

  • When to take the puppy?  I will be picking up Spirit when he is 7-8 weeks old.

Lots of confusing debate about this and finally figured out why. It is perfectly fine to remove a puppy from its mother and litter when it is between 7-8 weeks old and also after 10 weeks old – but not between 8-10 weeks, which turns out to be a period of particular sensitivity for the puppy – when they should not be traumatized by separation. My sources for this are http://dparksdachs.com/id17.html and http://www.diamondsintheruff.com/DevelopmentalStages.html  so you can check it out for yourself.

  • Crate or no crate? Decision made: no crate.

Have never used them religiously, tried them once or twice   and, for older dogs, never saw the point of them. But I am going to have to leave this young dog home at times before he is fully housebroken or maybe before I can fully trust him (running errands during hot weather is the main one) – will he poop on the white rug or chew the legs off the dining room table or ……… But, decided I can block off the ceramic tiled bathroom floor with a cardboard box on its side and a blanket in it for him to hide in when he wants – and a dog pillow too. Better than a crate, which, once the dog is grown and reliable, is way too confining when I can give him the entire house to wander and wonder in. Saves the money and the space for a crate too.

3/16/12

Still hurts now and then, like a sudden hot summer breeze that whooshes through me, coming out of nowhere when I least expect it …..maybe a song, or catching a glimpse of her photo on my desk or just looking out the window at the lake and seeing Dianna in my mind’s eye, on her knees, extracting tiny weeds out of her flower garden and Chili nosing around nearby.

Both gone now.

It is a good hurt though.

The kind of hurt one has when what and who has been lost was magical and life altering. That is, a hurt with no regrets or malice – no wishing it never was – but, instead, feeling so grateful it was and that it was the way that it was.

They both taught me to live in a space of Gratitude and Appreciation ………….. and most of all, Love.

Life in this reality is composed of beginnings, middles and endings ….. so, life is about our stories …. and why we are so naturally and totally entranced by our stories, our own dramas. Nothing gets closer to our own truth than our own story ……… and yet nothing more effectively keeps us from seeing who we really are either.

OK though. Just part of The Game, the way it has been designed by the Designer ….. on Purpose, of course.

 Nothing to do but have fun with it.  🙂

 

 

Blog #3 – march 10,2012

 

How soon we forget

 

I was jogging my memory about what to do to prepare for and start out life with a puppy – I basically know what to do but has been ten years since I had one and even this old dog might learn a few tricks – and found this – ah yes, if memory serves me………

 

How to Prepare for a Puppy

Pour cold apple juice on the carpet in several places and walk around barefoot in the dark.

Wear a sock to work that has had the toes shredded by a blender.

Immediately upon waking, stand outside in the rain in the dark saying, “Be a good puppy, go potty now – hurry up – come on, let’s go!”

Cover all your best clothes with dog hair. Dark clothes must use light hair; light clothes must use dark.

Float some hair in your first cup of coffee in the morning.

Also put some hair in everything that you cook! And in the pots and pans in your cupboards!

Run out in the snow/rain in your bare feet to close the gate.

Tip over a basket of clean laundry, scatter clothing all over the floor.

Leave your underwear on the living room floor because that’s where the puppy will drag it anyway… especially when company is coming.

Jump out of your chair shortly before the end of your favorite TV program and run to the door shouting “No, No! DO THAT OUTSIDE!” Miss the end of the program.

Put chocolate pudding on the carpet in the morning; don’t try to clean it up until you get home from work in the evening.

Gouge the leg of the dining room table several times with a screwdriver… it’s going to get chewed on anyway.

Have a backhoe come in and dig random giant holes in your yard. Then go out in the early am and step in a few. Try not to break anything.

Take a warm and cuddly blanket out of the dryer and immediately wrap it around yourself. This is the feeling you will get when your puppy falls asleep on your lap.

🙂

– Author Unknown

 

Blog post #2 –  March 10, 2012

Well, did not think it would go this way but it is. Intended to get a rescue dog – at my age and for the amount of time I spend hunting anymore, I no longer need a hunting wonderdog but simply my new best friend.

A given it would be a golden retriever – long ago learned this breed solves 90% of any problems I would be likely to have with aggression, temperament, tendency to stick with me in all situations, trainability, desire to please, touch ability (I like to be touched and like to touch), and more.

I also knew it would be a male. Why? I really don’t know. What I have always wanted, always had – like the energy of a male somehow.

But, why not rescue one rather than go out and get a brand new one? Well, this was my plan all along ……………. and then I tried to do it.  Turns out, not so easy – long interview forms to fill out, contracts (some of them with ridiculous clauses), all require likely physically fenced yards (which I do not have and do not intend to have) unless the dog being adopted is 22 years old with three legs (exaggerating but the allowed adoption list drops dramatically without a fence) and the choices seemed pretty limited as it was. I don’t blame those who run these programs and am grateful they exist – just not a good fit for me I guess.

Besides, every dog born, once born, needs to be “rescued” – that is, needs an owner. The difference, one might say, is a true rescue dog will be put down if someone does not step up. Not really true with vast majority of Golden Retrievers – unless they have an aggression problem or severely medically compromised (in which case, I am not willing to take them on either), they all find homes easily. No surprise.

So ………….. went back to the top flight, very responsible  breeder (check her out at http://www.topbrass-retrievers.com/index.htm) I have used twice before and as the universe has designed it, she has two litters on the way as we speak. I could have pick of the litter from one of them and all my requirements were instantly met – male dog, good longevity history (there are NO guarantees in life – I didn’t come with one either), will carry warrantees for hips and all the usual stuff, and available in late June …………… could be almost exactly a year from the date Chili (my last dog/GR) died. Is he reincarnating? Would be fine with me. If this puppy refuses to swim, I will know it is him. J

I will name him Spirit Dog.

Spirit for short.

Pretty excited

  

 

 

Dianna – will always miss you in body and always with you in spirit

I have just completed writing a book about my wife, Dianna and it is going through editing with my publisher. So, just as when Dianna died on February 20, 2008, I am facing another blank page now, wondering what to do with the rest of my life.

I decided to start this blog. An on line diary to keep me connected to one of my passions, writing. Who knows, it may lead to my next book. In any case, it will be fun.

Another passion I have is dogs. Since 1970, I have had nothing but Golden Retrievers and, while all dogs are good, this breed suits my temperament and have what I look for in a dog – if chosen well, they are great bird dogs – hunting has been another passion but waning a bit as I age – and GR’s rarely are interested in biting anyone, fighting with other dogs, love touching and, over the years, have taken good care of me, taking me for walks in places we both love to go and, most of all, continuing to teach me all I am open to learning.

An excerpt from my book, Dianna’s Way (to be available to the public hopefully by early summer), referring to my recently deceased GR, Chili:

The spectrum of knowledge a dog has is not congruent with our own so we deem them less intelligent. Fundamentally, I absolutely know this is not true. Truth is, we have barely a clue about what they know.

I do know, while Dianna lived in the Present almost all of the time and I am an occasional visitor, it was Chili’s default way of being in every moment. This creates a wisdom we simply do not understand, do not even realize we do not understand, and certainly have no way to language.

Well, I do not mean for this blog to be about dogs as such but about exploring the wisdom found along the blurry edges of our reality, about who we are, why we be here and what might be fun to do while we are here – here meaning in this particular reality, this game we call life.  And, from this perspective, we may use this blog to have a conversation about life as we live it and as we see it happening in the world, whether in society, politics, the environment – I might mention what I noticed walking in the woods today.

Soon, my next GR will be finding me. This morning, the thought occurred to me that I might be naming him Spirit.

Will see.

Chili - miss you still